Marrying the Uterus by Ayesha Quddusi (guest writer)

Photo-credit: Saniya Kamal, AKU MBBS ' 18

I was doing a rotation in anaesthesia. Standing in the pre-operative area, waiting for the next patient for our operation room to arrive, I overheard perhaps one of the most significant conversations of my life. There was a young patient and her Obstetrician / Gynecologist (OB/GYN). There was some talk about removing her uterus, perhaps a cancer or something else threatening her life. I couldn't really hear everything nor was that the intention. Simply stated, I wasn't paying much attention to it. They were going to remove her uterus to save her life. That much I could tell. And then she asked her doctor a simple question. A simple yet bone chilling question.

"Meray paas bachadani nahi hoge tau mujh se shaadi kaun karay ga?" (If I don't have a womb, who is going to marry me?)

The doctor paused. Smiled reassuringly. "Beta, shadi bachadani se thori hoti hai." (Child, it's not the womb one marries).

I couldn't stop thinking about those words. The day ended. Our operation room list finished. I changed out of my scrubs. I walked back to my room. All the way I could hear the echo of the OB/GYN’s words, "It's not the womb one marries".

How untrue those words seemed. How sadly untrue.

Isn't it indeed the uterus one marries? One that can carry healthy children, preferably male? When has anyone ever really stopped and given it a thought when marrying a woman that they're not just marrying someone who can carry a baby, but someone who is a person. A person like them. A person equal to them. Not just someone who is nice to look at. Is it not true that in this world, men don't marry the woman but rather marry her fair skin, her virginity, her healthy uterus? They don't marry the person.

Perhaps women are never thought of anything more than that. Perhaps even they start doubting there is anything more to them. And perhaps one day, they forget they are anyone of their own.

[from Narrative Medicine]

  

CREDITS:

About the Author: Ayesha Quddusi, AKU MBBS Class of 2017, likes surgery, traveling and learning new things. She appreciates a good cup of coffee, David Bowie, and comedy sketches. You may read more of her work on her blog here. 

About the Reviewer / Editor: Dr. Kanwal Nayani, AKU MBBS Class of 2015, is currently a Research Associate at AKU. She's interested in pursuing a career in pediatrics.

Editorial Note: This is from a series collected as part of the Narrative Medicine Workshop at AKU on January 20^th, 2016. The editorial work was performed by the Writers’ Guild, an interest group at AKU, with the purpose to promote love of reflective reading and writing, within and outside of  AKU.      

DISCLAIMER: Copyright belongs to the author. This blog cannot be held responsible for events bearing overt resemblance to any actual occurrences.