The Legacy by Murad M. Khan (guest writer)

'Grow strong my comrade- that you may stand

 Unshaken when I fall; that I may know

 The shattered fragments of my song will come

 At last to finer melody in you;

 That I may tell my heart that you begin

 Where passing I leave off and fathom more.'

                                                            Will Durant

Dr. MM Khan

He was born in Mombassa, Kenya where my great grandfather was serving with the British army during the First World War. He then moved to a small town near Patna in Bihar. From those humble beginnings he rose to be offered a position in the US space agency NASA (which he could not take up for various reasons). His life's story was one of courage and endurance, of standing up for one's principles, of dedication and integrity.

When he died he left no fortune or bank balance. Instead he left his many lessons of life hoping that they would help one survive in this increasingly complex and chaotic world of ours. During the sixty odd years he spent on earth he was severely tested- physically, emotionally, spiritually, morally. Struck down by fulminant arthritis in the prime of his life he refused to bow down either to his illness or to the people who wanted to use his illness as an excuse to put him down. Although in almost constant pain for more than 25 years and crippled by the vengeance of his illness he hardly took a day off from work. And how he loved his work.

Having completed his medical education from the Prince of Wales Medical College in Patna, India he moved before the partition to Karachi in 1946, joining the Dow Medical College as a demonstrator in physiology. But he had read an article somewhere about a new specialty of medicine that was just emerging. It sparked an interest in him. That interest became a passion and his life's work. It was the hitherto unknown field of Aviation Medicine.

Joining the Pakistan Air Force as a flight surgeon to the first ever Attacker jet squadron in 1950, he would spend the next thirty years of his life trying to make military flying as safe as possible for the flyers of the PAF. To this he dedicated his life. He had what he termed an 'emotional involvement' with the flyers of the PAF. They were his life and blood. When he died and I was looking for a suitable quote for his gravestone I came across one he had written in one his letters to me at the time of his retirement. 'When I die', he wrote, 'I only want this on my grave- 'Here lies a friend of flyers'.

Front page of treatise written by Dr. MM Khan

For thirty years his life was Aviation Medicine. He was a strong believer in applying rigorous scientific methods in research, which he conducted single-handedly. This was the pre-computer era when there were no software programs for analyzing data as one does nowadays. I still remember him spending hours poring over books on statistics.  He was known as the 'father of aviation medicine' in Pakistan. Yet when he retired he had to seek employment outside Pakistan. He could have asked people in the civil aviation or the national airline for a job (most of them were ex-air force officers). But as typical of him he did not even contemplate it.

He had an insatiable desire to read. He would read everything and anything he could lay his hands on. From Reader's Digest to Discover magazine to medical texts to books on philosophy and religion. And as he read them he passed what he read to us. Most of this took place at the dinner table. His post-dinner 'lectures' became a regular source of knowledge for us.

Although perpetually short of money and living modestly (there were nine of us) he invested heavily in books for he believed only by reading could we gain knowledge and broaden our thinking. I remember in the 60s he subscribed to the TIME-LIFE series of books- much to my mother's consternation! These books cost something like Rs.120 each at the time. A pittance by today's standards but an enormous amount at the time and one that was certainly beyond our means. These books opened a vast new world for us. There were books on nature with titles like 'The Poles', 'The Desert', 'The Mountains', 'The Earth' etc. The one on 'The Universe' held us spellbound for hours. Similarly there were books on different countries of the world.

He taught us what moral courage was and showed us how never to compromise one's principles. He practiced what he preached and for us that was the best way to learn. He taught us how one could survive in the face of enormous odds and blatant injustices and yet contribute to one's field of work. The injustices meted out to him are too many to list here and he would not have liked them to be mentioned but he never bore a grudge against anyone. I once asked him if he ever felt envious of people who were well and had pain free mobility. 'That is the way of God and I accept it as such'. His reply was typical of a man who accepted his fate and got on with life rather than berate nature or blame others for his situation.

He knew the answers to the many questions, which trouble us lesser mortals. He made sure he found out the answers. He read, he listened, he discussed. He absorbed everything that was of relevance to help him answer the questions. Of his many books his most treasured was 'The Koran' in English by NJ Dawood that he bought in the US in 1963. He emphasized how important it was to read the Koran in a language we understood.

In a society where people constantly quoted the price of the latest Toyota or of a plot of land in Defence Society, he quoted Sagan and Salam, Jung and Russell. In a service where people worried about their foreign postings or their promotion he worried about ways and means to save human lives. Although in the most part limited to his bed because of his illness he let his mind roam the cosmos. People who came to meet him were astonished by the diversity of his knowledge. Even when he retired from the air force he refused to stay at home and instead started a rheumatology clinic. He had never done any formal clinical training, yet because of the treatment he had received for rheumatoid arthritis-firstly in Sweden and later in the USA he picked up enough knowledge and skill to apply it to his many patients. Patients were astounded when they saw his deformities. But they also knew that being a patient himself he could understand what it was like to suffer from a chronic, crippling and painful condition. No wonder that several years after his death people who didn’t know still rang asking for his appointment.

His end was rather sad and painful. He had gone into congestive cardiac failure and the damage was irreparable. It was as if God wanted to test him right to the end. But he was prepared for his passage to the eternal life. He had started preparing for it a long, long time ago.

His many letters that he wrote when I was abroad remain a source of inspiration for me. In it are the same words that were part of his dinner table 'lectures': 'This is a temporary life and our time on this planet is limited. Try and lead a simple life and never get in the competition of acquiring ‘things’. Instead read and understand, enquire and seek. For only through knowledge can you gain wisdom'.

*                       *                              *                        *                       *                                *

Sitting in the study the other day, reading the newspaper I noticed my five-year-old walk in. She viewed some books on the shelf, took one out and brought it over to me. She wanted me to show her the pictures and read from it.

I looked at the cover of the book. It was one of the TIME-LIFE books from more than thirty years ago.

At that moment I knew my father's legacy had come true.

[from NarrativeMedicine]

  

CREDITS:

About the Author: Dr. Murad M. Khan MRCPsych, PhD is Professor of Psychiatry at AKU. He holds special interest and expertise in Bioethics and Narrative Medicine / Reflective Writing. 

Acknowledgment: This narrative was drafted by Dr. Khan in 1994 and shared with the NM blog for publication on April 27, 2017 - on his father's 29th death anniversary. 

Editorial Note: This is from a 'phase II' continuation of Narrative Medicine at AKU - what started as a Workshop-based initiative on January 20^th, 2016. The editorial work was performed by the Writers’ Guild, an interest group at AKU, with the purpose to promote love of reflective reading and writing, within and outside of  AKU. 

DISCLAIMER: Copyright belongs to the author. This blog cannot be held responsible for events bearing overt resemblance to any actual occurrences.