From an insomniac’s dream (I) - Fifty shades dark

'awakening' from numinous_flow archive; artwork by Nadia Haroon

Today heralds the beginning of an era

Not of interest to meaningless minds 

Regardless, the story must be told.

The story teller’s subject: mere beads of sweat

Forty years into existence,

But only now the true story revealed.

Sweat oozes out of pores onto parched skin

more so at night, when the muggy, warm sea breeze

Facilitates perspiration onto a living, breathing, seeing, smelling, feeling skin.

Narcissus observes beads of sweat pile

On the forehead, face, hirsute chest, nether regions

Beads that communicate through a means as ancient as humanity itself.

The spiritual aside, it's the physical connection of salty, hydrated particles

That merge and pool in all and every crevice

The trickling a potent reminder of Narcissus’ virility.

Within that context of sweaty beads and beady sweats

Conversations are had - fifty shades dark.

Darkness that exists in skin, mind, and heart.

However, it is the darkness of the nebulous third space, Ishq

Between yin and yang, Therao and Iztirabi, which provides nourishment for the soul.

Hah! You see, it is the stories of darkness, in darkness, 

that reveal the beauty of the fifty shades.

Whether of a child raped in mind, body or spirit,

Of a porn star not meant to be, or the gift of virginity no more;

All have a common theme: the darkness that celebrates mind, body, and spirit.

As these shades mature, there is a tactile journey, 

In a quest, an urge, to fathom indecipherable tattoos

that can be seen but not felt; if felt then not heard.

And yet palpable to the eye and ear

In the darkness by the sea. 

Look there for a second: a bonus!

A moving blob, some shade of grey

Marking the turtle’s curvilinear journey from ocean to sand and back; 

Going full circle, in the dark.

But now, like all esoterica, an insomniac’s dream comes to an end.

Like the wavefront comes to an end at the shore, 

No matter how calm or agitated ocean or land may appear. 

“Where does boundary of self end and stars begin?” Shams asks.

In fifty shades dark, the answer.

And salvation.

from an Insomniac's Dream

Description: 'Insomniac's Dream' has two protagonists, Shams and Narcissus, depicted along the actual (and revered) Shams of Tabriz and Jelaluddin Rumi. The latter’s poetry and the former’s extensive wandering, both seeking life's meaning or purpose and perhaps finding mystical companionship, as a result, has been a great source of intrigue for many over hundreds of years. The Shams and Narcissus dynamic alluded to in the poem, is also reminiscent of God and Man - conversations between Shams and Narcissus (or between God and Man) have been depicted in verse.

Part 1 is about life’s darkness and how love's dark stories can be worth rejoicing about too. Since I cannot find meaningful English counterparts of ‘Therao’, ‘Iztirabi’, and ‘Ishq’ they remain in the vernacular. Through the verses, I hope that I have managed to get across the conflict between different states or stages of Therao, Iztirabi, and Ishq.

Acknowledgment: First published by Spillwords press.