Long Nails by Natasha Khalid (guest writer)
I love working- but truly detest taking exams. However, as life only gives
you more of what you fear, I found myself responsible for my program’s weekly
Clinical Grand Rounds—an exercise in which I was expected to present a case and
be judged by my program for my clinical acumen and physical exam skills.
Passing would be a quiet victory; failing, on the other hand, would be public
humiliation.
My anxiety kicked in hard as the presentation drew closer. As I rehearsed
and revised just before my moment of truth, I was stricken with a revelation—I hadn’t cut my fingernails.
Alas, my personal grooming had become another casualty of my daily workload
and brewing burnout. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t have been a concern, but here,
my long fingernails would make percussion during the physical exam almost
impossible. I would end up scratching, scarring, and bruising the patient’s
poor abdomen with my taps, earning a brutal shaming from my attendings in the
process.
“Damn, I need a nail cutter! I will fail otherwise" I said. Cold beads of panicked sweat sprouted on my brow. At that moment, a general surgeon named Dr. S, seated in front of me in the lecture hall, turned to face me. “Give me your nails—I will bite them,” she deadpanned.
My reverie of impending doom broke—“umm…what?!”
Placidly, she repeated. “We don’t have a nail cutter. Let me bite them off for you.”
A pregnant pause of consideration ended with an eruption of laughter, as the absurdity of the situation hit me. And just like that, my fear and anxiety dissipated, thanks to a well-timed dose of humor. I calmed down, and the presentation went smoothly—a testament to the power of a minor positive affirmation and the collegiality that so many of us residents depend on. I think back on this minor episode often when it feels like I’m just trying to keep my head above water.
And I keep my nails nice and trimmed now.
CREDITS:
About the Author: Dr. Natasha Khalid works as a Resident
Physician in Pakistan. She has written on various media for over a decade
now. Research and narrative medicine, two major areas of
interest, have helped her channel her inner creativity despite her mentally and physically exhausting work life. Outside of her 'medical' life, she enjoys reading, traveling and running. She blogs @natashablogs
Editorial Note: This is second in a series collected as part of the Narrative Medicine Workshop at AKU on January 20th, 2016. The editorial work was performed by the Writers’ Guild, an interest group at AKU, with the purpose to promote a love of reflective reading and writing, within and outside of AKU.
DISCLAIMER: Copyright belongs to the author. This blog cannot be held responsible for events bearing overt resemblance to any actual occurrences.
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